


Breathe In, Breathe Out

by CastielWinchester96



Series: Deaf!Sam Verse [20]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 1x01, Big Brother Dean, Deaf, Deaf Character, Deaf Sam, Deaf Sam Winchester, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s01e01 Pilot, Features the events of 'Pilot' and shows the time spent in Palo Alto before 1x02, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Episode: s01e01 Pilot, Scared Dean, Scared Dean Winchester, Season 1, Stanford, Supportive Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-09-09 22:05:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8914693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CastielWinchester96/pseuds/CastielWinchester96
Summary: After the fire at his and Jess' apartment, Sam is not okay, in more ways than one





	

**Author's Note:**

> " " - indicates speech  
> ' ' - indicates signing

Reaching the building, Dean's eyes widened as he saw the red and orange glow through the window of Sam and Jess' apartment.

"Sam!" Throwing open the door of the Impala, Dean sprinted from the car. He made it up the steps to the third floor in record time before breaking his way inside.

His brother's screams led the way into their bedroom where he found Sam shaking and crying out in horror as his eyes stayed locked on the sight above him.

Dean couldn't help but gasp as he saw Jess burning on the ceiling. Taking a deep breath, he sprung back into action and ran over to his brother, dragging him up from the mattress.

Sam immediately began to fight him as he scrambled to try and reach his girlfriend, but his efforts were mostly futile.

"No! No! No! D'n please!" Sam begged.

Dean's heart was breaking with every second but he knew he had to get his brother out of there before they were goners too. Pulling Sam forcibly from the room, Dean was struggling to keep his composure as his little brother continued to scream for Jess even after he had successfully managed to get them both out of the apartment and down the main staircase. He didn't stop until they had crossed the threshold of the building.

It was then that Sam broke down, painful sobs wracking his body as his knees gave way beneath him.

Dean was there to catch him though, lowering him gently down to the ground. He then pulled the distraught bundle of brother against his chest, holding him close.

Sam rested his head against Dean's chest as he continued to cry. His tears only ceased when he began to hack into his brother's leather jacket.

Dean rubbed a hand down Sam's back as he attempted to clear the coughing fit.

Two paramedics, not having previously noticed the two brother's leave the building, came running over.

"Mr, are you okay?"

Sam was unaware of their question but Dean answered quickly with a nod.

"He needs checked out, he was in the apartment where the fire started."

This triggered an immediate response from the paramedics as they quickly gave instructions to Dean.

Lost for breath, chest burning, Sam's lungs struggled for oxygen as dots danced in his vision before everything went black.

* * *

Finding his way back to consciousness, Sam found that he was being held bridal style in Dean's arms. Eyes open ever so slightly, he was able to see that his older brother was crying. Sam's eyes continued to flicker as he struggled to hold onto whatever he was falling in and out of.

"Sammy..." Dean noticed that Sam's eyes were open and looked down at him. "You hold on, okay?" He begged as more tears fell.

That was weird. Dean never cried. Ever.

Sam's trail of thought ended as he once again found himself falling.

* * *

Waking up once again, Sam found it to be much more pleasant than the previous. His throat was hurting like a bitch, but overall, his surroundings seemed much calmer.

Flickering his eyes open, Sam found himself looking up at a plain white hospital ceiling. Endless white panels with long, yellow tinged lights that were both too dull and too bright at the same time stretched off infinitely into the distance.

A tickle in his nose told him that he was wearing a plastic nasal cannula. His hearing aids had been removed as the world was silent and there was only one person in the room judging by the slight vibration on the bed.

Light puffs of air were tickling the hairs on the back of his hand every couple of seconds, the pattern of someone sleeping lightly.

The exact pattern of his older brother who undoubtedly would be camped out in a chair beside the bed.

The exact older brother who would rather die then let his deaf little brother wake up in a hospital alone.

The exact older brother who had never left his deaf little brother alone in a hospital through their childhood because of how scared he knew Sam would be without him there.

Finally feeling awake enough to move, Sam turned his head on the pillow to confirm his older brother theory. He smiled at the sight of Dean asleep, head resting on the mattress next to his hand. Sam raised the hand in question and dropped it gently into his brother's soft dirty blonde hair, playing with it lightly.

Dean came around in seconds, head raising slowly to find his brother's gaze.

Sam smiled drowsily. "Hey..." His throat vibrated funny when he spoke. Sam scowled.

'Don't try and talk. Doctor said smoke fucked up your throat.' Dean signed before visibly relaxing, a large sigh following which took all tension away from his body. He smiled. "Thank god you're okay..." He took a deep breath. "Jesus, Sammy, you scared me."

"Sorry." Sam apologised.

"Wasn't your fault, and neither was what happened."

"D'n..."

"Please don't torture yourself about it, there's nothing you could have done."

"I could have saved her." Sam stated.

"Sammy, you didn't know..."

He sighed, shifting slightly on the bed, eyes tiredly flickering as he leant into the soft white pillow.

Dean stroked a hand gently through his little brother's hair. "Get some sleep." His tone protective and caring. "I'll be here when your wake up."

"Need to call Jess' parents." Sam mumbled into the pillow.

"That's the cops' job, not yours. They'll deal with it. You just worry about you and get some sleep."

Sam didn't need to be told twice.

* * *

The brothers were out of the hospital three days later, once the doctors were happy enough with Sam's breathing. Dean had booked them into a small motel on the outskirts of Palo Alto knowing that they couldn't go far because of the upcoming funeral. There was no point in driving somewhere to just come all the way back. Not that they could go far anyway.

Sam was tired from his hospital treatment and spent most days sleeping.

The doctor had given them an oxygen canister and a nasal cannula, which Sam had to wear when sleeping, and anytime he found himself short of breath.

Sam had soon became used to having to sleep with the cannula on and it no longer bothered him, now easily able to get through the night wearing it. It was only when he moved around that it could sometimes fall off. This never really proved a problem though because it was never off for long. Sam found that the cannula would always magically be back under his nose, with the tubes once again wrapped around the backs of his ear without him having to do anything.

Sam hoped that the day when he no longer needed to use the thing would come soon because Dean was barely getting any sleep through worrying about him and his cannula, and it was clearly showing in the bags under his eyes. On top of that, Dean had also put himself in charge of handling everything.

It was the day after Sam had been discharged from the hospital when he awoke to Dean sat on the edge of his bed across the room having an argument down the phone with someone.

Sam closed his eyes to almost slits, pretending to be asleep as he began to lipread.

"My brother had nothing do with this. It was a fire for fuck sake!" Dean clearly shouted.

_Oh god..._

Sam visibly paled at the words.

"No, you won't. He's sleeping so no, I'm not going to translate for you..." Dean paused, obviously listening to the Moore's reply. "We just got out of the hospital yesterday. Sam was treated for smoke inhalation and is still on an oxygen cannula for it so he's still recovering. That's why I won't wake him up so I can translate what you want to say to him. He's not avoiding you, he doesn't even know you've been calling. I haven't told him because the doctors said that it's not ideal for him to be stressed right now. He's been struggling for oxygen enough already." Dean paused once again. "Look, I know you're just looking out for your daughter, but you gotta' understand that I gotta' look out for my brother here too."

Dean listened to the Moore's response.

"I'm taking Sam to pay his respects, even if it's a few hours after the funeral, he's going. You can't stop us."

Dean's lips stilled once again.

"Jess was his girlfriend, and you're banning him from the funeral because of some stupid, false accusations." He paused. "Jess wouldn't want this. She'd want her boyfriend at that funeral sat front and center. You gotta' accept Jess' wishes."

The words that followed from the other side of the phone must have brought better news because Dean's expression changed to a small smile. "Thank you." He then placed the phone back on the receiver.

Sam closed his eyes.

* * *

Dean walked over to his little brother's bed and sat down on the edge. He gently rested a hand gently on his shoulder. "I wasn't gonna' let them stop your from seeing her one last time, Sammy." He sighed. "Jess seemed like a great kid..." Dean paused once again. "I'm proud of you, kiddo."

* * *

The funeral was painful and made Sam wish to never attend another ever again. By there very nature, funerals were morbid, but the significance of what was about to happen made Sam want to do nothing more than sprint out of the doors of the church and never set a foot back inside again.

Dean's hand on his knee brought him back from his thoughts.

'You okay?' He signed.

Sam nodded.

'Liar'

* * *

After the service, they followed the procession out to the graveyard where the coffin was buried and Jess' Mom, Dad, Sister, and Auntie all said a few words before dropping some dirt down into the grave. Sam found himself thankful for the fact he didn't have to speak.

Dean noticed his little brother shaking and took Sam's hand in his own before squeezing it in reassurance, all without drawing attention to them, like he knew Sam was panicked about doing. The chick flick moment rule had well and truly been forgotten in the time that had passed since her death and Sam couldn't be more grateful, he'd found himself needing the support more and more as each day fell.

The priest said a few words to finish the service before it was over.

Sam was the first of the group surrounding the graveside to turn and walk away. He swiped a hand across his nose as he blinked repeatedly a few times against the tears that had not stopped falling since they arrived. Making his way over to the Impala which was parked just outside the cemetery gates, Sam waited for Dean to unlock her before opening his door and sitting down sideways on his seat so that his legs were outside of the car. He buried his head into his hands and took a couple of deep breaths.

A tap on his shoulder had him looking up.

'You okay?' Dean asked, repeating his words from early, his big brother senses instantly knowing that grief wasn't the only thing affecting him. "I knew being out this long was a mistake."

"D'n, I fine." Sam stated. "Just little sore. And anyway, Doctor said I have to get used to breathing without cannula. They did all tests and lungs are fine. I just sore and tired, it not my lungs."

Dean nodded. "I believe you, but you better not be lying to me." He smiled before walking round to the driver's seat and climbing in.

"Why don't we go check out Blackwater Ridge?" Sam suggested.

"No."

"D'n..."

"No, Sam." Dean stated sternly.

"Why?!"

"Because you're still recovering. We're not going hunting."

"I just told you I fine."

"And it was total bull. We're not going." Dean retorted.

"Dad still out there, D'n..."

"Since when did you start caring about..." Dean blurted before realising what he'd said. "Sam..."

"It okay..." Sam smiled. "Honestly, it okay." He paused. "To be honest, I just really want to leave here."

Dean paused for a few seconds before sighing. "Fine." He turned the key in the ignition before putting Baby into gear. "We'll go back to the motel, get changed and then hit the road."

Sam smiled. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, bitch."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Jerk."

**Author's Note:**

> The amazing art in this chapter was by the lovely aureritart on tumblr :)
> 
> You can find more art from the Verse here:  
> https://jaredsnuggles.tumblr.com/tagged/deaf%21sam-verse-art


End file.
